3 Short Thoughts on Anger…
In talking to people in the counseling room, I find there is invariably some problem with anger…
Many times, I talk to adults who were not allowed to express anger as a child. These children can grow into adults who believe any anger is sinful, whether it is simply feeling the emotion of anger, or worse yet, expressing that anger. Of course, there are healthy AND unhealthy ways of expressing anger, and the unhealthy ways usually do result in sinful behavior of some sort as the angry person is probably lashing out at something or someone. Christians raised in such a fashion especially seem to have difficulty perceiving that love and anger can co-exist…for them, it is either love or anger.
So, lately, 3 simple verses have been revolving around the issue of anger in my mind. The first: Ephesians 4:26 – “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry… In the case of the child not allowed to be angry, there have been many times that the sun has set while they were still angry, resulting in a reservoir of unexpressed emotion. This reservoir tends to erupt on occasion because the adult still doesn’t allow themselves to express any anger, or may not have learned how to express it in a healthy way.
The second verse is James 1:20 – for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. I have witnessed adults who used veiled anger (which really comes across as self-righteousness) to try to get their children or spouse and even themselves to do something that is considered “good Christianity”. These self-righteous moments (and perhaps we all have fallen to this behavior?) tend to be fueled by the hidden emotions that form the shoreline of that reservoir of anger. The good news is that these people WANT God’s righteousness; the passage makes it clear that using old patterns doesn’t achieve the goal.
What then can we (or that person) do? The third passage says it…Matthew 6:33 – But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Freedom from anger is one of the “all these things that will be given” us. But the “how” isn’t fundamentally clear – only the first step is concisely given…”Seek first Him”. Keeping emotions hidden results in at least a partial personal isolation…in this passage, God is making it clear that He wants to be sought out in the solving and healing of the issue. A person cannot do it alone. This first thing, this first step, can be the most difficult – yet it is the most critical. In addition, He sets forth the principle that a certain goal must be aimed for, and surprisingly, the goal is not the individual’s emotional healing and health, tho’ that will be accomplished along the way…the goal is Him! His kingdom, His righteousness!
Have you invited God into your hidden reservoir of anger yet?
